Good Vibrations
by vsdefender
Summary: Ryoko, Ayeka and the Nimbus 2000


I don't own Tenchi Muyo, any of the characters or any of Washu's crazy inventions for that matter. They're owned by Pioneer and AIC.. This fanfic is written without the consent of aforementioned owners and yadda yadda yadda.  
  
Harry Potter and his broom are the creations of J.K. Rowling.  
  
  
  
Good Vibrations  
  
Katsuhito bent over and picked up the red flower and inspected it. Behind him he heard the delighted laugh of the younger princess of Jurai.  
  
"It's like a carpet of cherry blossoms," Sasami said, her voice drifting down from the stairway leading to the shrine. "It will take a long time to sweep them all up."  
  
"But that's exactly what we have to do," Tenchi's voice answered. "So we might as well get started."  
  
Katsuhito looked up from the red blossom in his hand. "Camelias. As the opening of spring makes this old man's heart sing I feel the beauty of the hours, as the Camelia blooming flower floats by on-"  
  
His impromptu poetry recital was interupted by someone who wasn't taking the newly sprung spring quite so peacefully. Or rather, two someones.  
  
"Give that back, I had it first!" came the voice of the Ayeka Jurai, elder princess of the Planet Jurai.  
  
"Broom hog!" shouted Ryoko. "You've been running around with that thing between your legs all day. It's my turn now. Besides, you left it lying on the ground, I just picked it up."  
  
Katsuhito turned and headed back to the shrine. As beautiful as it was outside there were just certain things he didn't need to see. Or know about.  
  
  
  
  
"Look here, monster woman, I had that broom first," Ayeka said. "So therefore it belongs to me."  
  
"No it doesn't belong to you," Ryoko retorted. "Besides, you weren't using it anyhow."  
  
"I was giving it a rest," Ayeka said vehemently.  
  
"Someone ought to give *you* a rest," Ryoko said.  
  
"Don't they ever get enough?" Tenchi said as he ran down the steps to avert another explosive arguement between the two.  
  
The two girls turned to him as he approached them.   
  
"Tenchi, tell Miss Prissy Pants to let me have the broom now," the blue haired former space pirate said.  
  
"Lord Tenchi, this horrible troll has her sticky fingers all over my broom," Ayeka told him. "Tell her to go find her own broom."  
  
"But it's the only broom there is," Ryoko protested.  
  
Tenchi took a look at the broom in question. "Hey, isn't that the Nimbus 2000? I thought I bought that for Sasami as a birthday present. I don't know why you two are fighting over it, it's pretty useless as an actual broom."  
  
Sasami rolled her eyes and sighed. Trust Tenchi to buy such a babyish present for her. Just because she read a few of those books. She had not been unhappy in the slightest when Ayeka had commandeered the toy broom.   
  
Ayeka and Ryoko shared a look and blushed.  
  
"Well, actually it has some special effects that I like," Ryoko said uncomfortably.  
  
"What are those?" Tenchi asked.  
  
"Yes, Ryoko, do go on," Ayeka said nastily.  
  
"Um, when you put it between your legs it...umm, well it *ahem* vibrates," Ryoko answered, red in the face.  
  
Tenchi took a step back. This was information he wasn't expecting. Nor did he know what to do with it. A few moments later he was in full rout.  
  
The girls watched him run up the steps to the shrine.  
  
"Maybe you two should try sharing," Sasami said.  
  
The two rivals considered the possibility.  
  
"Well, maybe it won't be so bad," Ayeka allowed.  
  
"I'll go get the sake!" said an enthusiastic Ryoko who suddenly saw the potential of the situation. "Last one in the onsen is a sexually conflicted stick-in-the-mud!"  
  
"Onsen?" Ayeka said.  
  
"Sure, you know, our floating onsen," Ryoko said. "What do you think I'm talking about?"  
  
"I was afraid of that," Ayeka said with a sigh. "Ryoko, this scene we're in is a blatant ripoff of the opening scene of the Tenchi Forever movie. Or Tenchi Muyo in Love II if you prefer."  
  
"So what's your point?" Ryoko asked.  
  
"My point is that Tenchi Forever is commonly considered to be in the TV continuity in which the floating onsen doesn't exist," Ayeka answered. "What we have is that outrageously huge and luxurious bathroom that Washu installed in TV episode 4."  
  
"Actually I think it was TV episode 5," Sasami corrected.  
  
"Yes, of course," Ayeka said. "My mistake."  
  
"Well, how about the onsen that Tenchi's aunt operates?" Ryoko asked.  
  
A vein throbbed in Ayeka's forehead. "Do you bother to ever pay attention at all!?" she demanded. "That too is in the OVA universe!"  
  
"Oh, well...." Ryoko scratched her chin. "I guess I was drinking too much sake at the time to notice."  
  
Ayeka buried her face in her hands. "Sweet Tsunami," she said softly.  
  
"Now you're doing it too," Sasami observed.  
  
"That's it!" Ayeka snarled. She turned to Ryoko, grabbed the Nimbus 2000 out of the space pirate's hand and whacked her over the head with it. Repeatedly.  
  
She turned to Sasami. "I want every last bottle of sake you can find and make it snappy!" She then bent down to grab the dazed space pirate by her pointy blue hair. "Ryoko and I will be busy with the Nimbus 2000 so just leave them at the door."  
  
  
  
  
  
Sasami opened the door to the bathroom and stuck her head in. And promptly screwed her eyes shut while blushing furiously. "Um, Ayeka?"  
  
"Can't you see I'm busy?" Ayeka said. "What is it?"  
  
"Well, it's Tenchi," Sasami answered. "He's gone missing and no one can find him."  
  
"I have an idea," Ryoko said. "Why don't you pick up the phone and call someone who cares."  
  
Sasami carefully shut the door behind her. "Okay, princess, now it's your turn to use the broom on me," she heard Ryoko say from the other side of the door.  
  
  
  
  
Sasami was watching tv in the main room when two desperate girls practically flew in from the bathroom.  
  
"Where's Tenchi?" they gasped out as one. "It's an emergency!"  
  
"He's still gone," Sasami answered. "What's the emergency?"  
  
Tears began to spill down the faces of the two girls at the news.   
  
"The batteries in the Nimbus 2000 are dead and we don't have any replacements," Ryoko wailed.  
  
  
  
Note: This is the most tasteless Tenchi fic I've done yet. Hopefully I'll never sink this low again. But I had to do it for the reason stated below.  
  
The other night I was on the Muyo fanfic IRC channel when someone posted a link to the amazon page featuring the Nimbus 2000 toy broom. This fic is a result of that. Below is the address for the page. Be sure to check out the customer reviews. I think you'll get a kick out of them.  
  
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/-/toys/B00005NEBW/custome/102-3110647-8240139 


End file.
